In Which I Left Her

I wear clown shoes
To hide what is
Broken inside me.
The clockwork gears
Of my heart
That once kept Mountain Time
Have ceased their
Pendulous sway
And memory
Is now the mirrored glass
On the lake where she
Lies
A weary head.

I could lie
Forever
If I didn’t love her.
Make trinkets of silver
From mud and spit.
Offer them up with constancy
Like a child offers
With the very best
Of intensions.
Yet, tears of longing
Would only wash them away
Corrode
Make sharp the edges
And prevent
Lives
From moving
Forward
As they should.

In Which I Pray to My Pillow.

Your words soothe.
Pours like milk-
Halts the global shift
Of my inner-child’s need
To spin out of control.

The circus
Inside my head
Is populated
By Argentinean
High school
Spanish teachers,
Painted bride’s maids,
Pixie haircuts,
And slow
Tangos
Over a shared
Game of pool.

Your words allay.
Wrap around the fissures
In my life
Left parched for tears
And draws their curtain.
Sutures
With a kiss,
A breath,
The orchestral diversity
Of my aspiration.

What Wakes Me

There is a bent chord
After I hear
My back door slam.
Shakes ice
From eyelids
Warms the flesh
With sadness
And gives way
To the nightmares
Dreamt last night-
To strong for the traps
I lay
Above my bed.

Vibrations that
Sink into the heart
As if they were
Hooks
Pulls my soul from the breast
Before me
As the rest falls
Away
Dissipates through concrete
Below the bridge.
Still the only place
That forces a held breath
Until crossed.

Descending into
My incorrect memory
Which has me kissing
Scars on wrists,
Icing knees,
Blocking the door
While you struck my chest
Provoked by the outline
Of his temper
On your forearm.

Collapsing onto
That which
Supposes I am sixteen
Watching you undress from underneath
My bed,
Persephone
Tattooed on the small
Of your naked back,
Wishing you not to pass
Through unknown gates
I have no hopes of breaching.

Awakening
To the unraveled
Possibility
That I would place you
In front of me
Barefoot
Dressed in white
Pacing around a fountain.
Confident that I shouldn’t
Follow you
Chase you
But rather
Wait
To hear your steps
At my back.

A Drifters Song for you to decode.

The tar between my toes
Belies the clean fun we had
While backs rested
With ease
Forty feet above ground.

Star gazing eyes
Occasionally drift
To the detail
Of your head scarf
And I question why
This
Seems
So effortless.

You Smile-
Ions fill the air
Give warning to
Approaching storms.
Lightning creases
Clouds overflow
And fill the half empty
Beer
Which I no longer desire.

Desire
That has become
Your smile
And the doors it opens
The youth it invokes
The fear it crushes
The questions my teeth
Gnash in its remembrance
And the calm
That runs through
Twice broken ankles
Like flooded
Parking lot
Water.